Tuesday, September 16, 2003
last 5 days or so..

I tried to update sunday but my roadrunner fucked up and it deleted it. ya well last weekend was gay bc carl blew me off twice when he had origionaly sworn (even though i told him not to say it unless he was sure) we would be spending the whole weekend together! Of course i kept telling myself that would never actually happen but he kept saying over and over "itll just be me and you and we'll actually Go out somewhere!!" Jerk!! he always blows me off! and then he made plans with me for fri night (my bday) but now hes blowing me off again. Of course we're still doing something sat night so its not like hes blowing me off for my bday.. its just the principle of the thing. Well i had fun w/ bethany anyway. we went to walmart and i wore a soccerball mask for about 30 minutes in the food section.  It was the shit. And i rode around on a kide's bike through all the aisles. Can you believe None of the workeres said anything to me? Walmart rules.  Yeah well carl kept saying "don't come over until just before dinner time on saturday.. no earlier tho cuz i gotta set everything up.." and then he flips when i figure out SOMEHOW that he's going to be cooking me dinner for my b-day. LOL geez he ALWAYS gives it away! he can never keep anything a suprise. Oh well, its the thought that counts right? :-) . . .  :-/   . . .  YES well anyways, i actually made some money today.. $25 babysitting Kyle.  But i gave it to my dad to add to my list bc I'm bbsitting again for some new ppl tomorrow. Blah two 9 year old boys and one 12 year old boy. God, i stopped needing a babysitter when i was 10, whats wrong with these people? Last time i babysat for a ten year old he asked me for a goodnight kiss. I said, "no but you can hump my leg if you'd like" and he said "hump? like a camel?".. haha well it would have been funny if id said that. Yes well no homecoming for me because carl doesnt wanna pay for my ticket and neither do i, lol.  ahhh bedtime.

Posted at 11:29 pm by katface
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Wednesday, September 10, 2003
My cell phone is ugly

I have been making horrible typos online and even on actual paper.  I'll write shit that i totally did not mean to write.. like instead of "the" ill write "all them" and weird shit that comes out of nowhere.  I think maybe I have a brain tumor. -- Yes, And everyday when im driving i grip the steering wheel really tight and contemplate crashing into someone head on. Especially at night its kind of hypnotizing because everything is so black and all you can see are the headlights right in front of you getting bigger and bigger until you're almost positive you're going to collide. And then they swoosh past by what seems like a tenth of an inch.  And all it would take is a little jerk of the wheel.  But then this heavy guilt overcomes me i and feel bad for the people in the other car.  And then I feel helpless, like im being denied an opportunity so incredible.  I think it would be such a fascinating thing to happen, it would be scary of course, but the feelings in your stomach and the things you would see through the windshield as you made impact would be so fucked up. -- yes well of course i would never be so daring or insane but the idea of taking the risk is intriguing sometimes. anyway, i think i might skip school next friday.  ill either lie at home or ill go to UCF for a college visit.  But who knows we might go on saturday instead since thats the official open house.  downside is we wont see people in action like we would on friday, but theres suppposed to be a lot of good info and presentations. but who gives a shit, id rather miss school. blaaaah and i drove carl home today bc his parents wouldnt be home and it sorta sucked.  He is very emotionless and it pisses me off.  And i hate how sometimes he forgets really important things (no not like anniversaries or shit we never think about anyway..) but like stuff i always tell him i really really like and he never ever remembers. Like talking.  Yadda yadda i complain alot but oh well.  im always unsatisfied w/ something or another.  Like how my mom is making tortillini for dinner right now and i hate tortillini.  The cheese inside is so dry and grainy and the meat is so fake tasting.  If it were yummy melted cheese it would be sooo good or chunks of beef or chicken. YUM.  i need to try some drugs out. sigh, well now im gonna go make myself eat the shit bc my mum promises it is good for me. *fart*

Posted at 07:26 pm by katface
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Tuesday, September 09, 2003
Well I talk. too much. to myself.

I love this song!  It's called Am I Wrong and its resung by Brand New.  Well anyway all of my "friends" were weird at school today.  It's like none of them wanted to talk to me at all.  I dunno what the deal is.  Oh well, I guess i shouldn't let myself care.  I'm not really close with any of them anyway.  But yeah my b-day is the 19th. That's really gonna suck.  But I hope my parents get me the camera.  I haven't told them anything else that I want.  And I doubt I'm gonna go anywhere or do anything besides w/ my parents and carl.  But i doubt any of that will be too wild.  I want to go to Barnacles or something and get some Oysters! MMMMMmMm... Good shit.  And i want to get really drunk.  But again I doubt that will happen cuz i have a feeling my bday is gonna be just the same as all the others. And everybody forgets.. or just doesnt care, either way. Wow I hope college is better than this.  The whole thought-process that the future will be better cuz things will be different is the only thing motivating me. Blaaahhh... gay gay gay gay gay GAY! I wish something exciting would happen.  Like carl would become super-dude overnight. Or I would find a 20 dollar bill.  Or all my homework would finish itself magically. Oh! Oh!  Or every moron on the face of the earth would get sucked into outerspace by unknown forces and the world would become an almost-interesting place to live in!!! Maybe that will be my birthday wish.. .. . Nah, I'll just wish for a million dollars and become a moron-killer when i grow up.

Posted at 04:58 pm by katface
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Monday, September 08, 2003
i am: unsatisfied

what happened today.. NOTHING oh except the FAG is supposedly talking more shit about me, and if he ever fucking stays home on a friday night i will LAMINATE his redneck shitty truck in eggs and bologna and deer scent! god i hope he suffers a miserable death.  waieunvzsk, but anyway.. lissa finally confessed she still misses igor soo i talked to him for a long time online and he is evidently still in love with her he is just confused (exactly like myself).  I want them to go back out but theres a good chance he might change his mind again.  Oh the drama.  I hate school... i want to go to college sooo bad.  Me and lissa are gonna get an apartment and throw mad parties! YEEHAW!! ugh and this girl at school got an $80 bouqet of roses from her boyfriend bc today is their 2 year anniversary and, normally, i would say how stupid that is but i know its just the jealousy talking. :P i wish carl was like that, and it makes me sad cuz he knows straight out that i do. mm oh well for now. yes well im gonna go read some literature hw and stuff my face, bye stupid losers.

Posted at 08:11 pm by katface
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Sunday, September 07, 2003
number 1

Yeah so this seems nifty so far.  But let's see how long I keep up with it.  Yeah i got nothing done today.. except about 5 pages of Oedipus Rex, WoopWoop!  But it's okay, i've got 2 more weeks til it's due.  And me and brian swore we'd hang out today but haha that didnt happen, of course.  I really need to hang out with him and matt sometime.. its been sooo long.  k, well i need to sleep, i have hell tomorrow :P

Posted at 11:19 pm by katface
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Discard this message
Throw this bottle back in the ocean
Rip this page from the history books
Smash all the street signs
Erase all the maps
Forget my name
Forget my face
Because it's going to rain
And it never ends

<< December 2017 >>
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Later bathing in the afterglow
Two lines of coke I cut with Drano
An her nose starts to bleed
A most beautiful ruby red

Slow motion see me let go
We'll remember these days
Slow motion see me let go
Urban life decays
Slow motion see me let go

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